President Ahmadinejad - the Alternative Comedian

One reason why I don't care to write about the Iranian President is his name - it takes so long to type it. That could prove a problem in what appears to be his new chosen career - comedy. I don't know why he set out to follow in the footsteps of Frankie Boyle, etc, by doing his first gig at the UN, but I suppose it was the only one he could get. Anyway, it seems that his first gag went down a storm. When he suggested that the USA orchestrated the 9/11 attacks, people actually walked out! They must have been overcome with laughter. Mind you, President Ahmadinejad (must do something about that name) has come out with some scintillating one-liners in the past, for example:
On the Holocaust – Sept 2009
"They (the Western powers) launched the myth of the Holocaust. They lied, they put on a show and then they support the Jews."
And then ( be ready to split your sides):
On Robert Mugabe – April 2010
"I condemn all pressures, all satanic pressures, pressures on the government and people of Zimbabwe."
And then there was:

On wearing ties – July 2010
"The supreme guide (Ayatollah Ali Khamenei) himself has said in a fatwa that the wearing of ties or bow ties is not permitted."
He's a barrel of laughs, isn't he?

Such a talented comedian will miss his chance, however, if his career is not carefully guided. I am considering asking the Comedy Store here in London to give him a booking. If anyone can suggest another venue, I'll try to get President Ahmadinejad (must do something about that name!) to appear. And then, of course, a snappy stage name is needed. I think "Ahmad Jad" has a nice ring to it. Watch this space...

OFSTED and the Need for Vigilance

Like all teachers, and anyone else involved in education, I am often bemused by the pronouncements of OFSTED, the Government's inspection agency for schools, playgroups, LEAs, and just about everything else you can think of to do with education. One such is today's announcement that 457,925 of the 1.65 million children who have been diagnosed with special educational needs (SEN) have been diagnosed wrongly.The implication is that schools "mistakenly" identify pupils as having special educational needs in order to get extra funding. This is not true, but it has brought excited banner headlines to the Daily Mail and other such papers. A swingeing refutation of the OFSTED claim is made by Zoe Williams in today's "Guardian", and can be read here.
 Speaking generally, there is a more pressing point that occurs to me: OFSTED has been in existence since 1992. During that time, it has inspected thousands of schools, observed tens of thousands of lessons, produced staggering amounts of paperwork, spent vast amounts of taxpayers' money and driven some  teachers to suicide. If schools really are wrongly labelling children as having special educational needs, why has it taken the ever-vigilant OFSTED so long to discover it?

Burning the Koran

 I rarely praise politicians, but I must say that world leaders are to be congratulated for condemning the proposed Koran burning in Florida on the 11th of this month. Pastor Terry Jones, the instigator of this event, appears to have learned none of the lessons that have been learned, at great cost, by our military and political leaders. Sorry to sound wise after the event, but even at the time of 9/11, I thought that the attacks were meant as provocations, intended to propel the USA and her allies into some kind of precipitate action. Unless Bin Laden and his cronies are idiots, they must have known that there would be a powerful military intervention against them, and would have planned for it. Well, in war, you don't do what your enemies want you to do. 9 years down the line, I think we've done just that, paying a huge cost in lives, money and material, two countries have been devastated - and we still haven't caught Bin Laden. Still, light is beginning to shine, realisation of what kind of enemy we are dealing with is growing, and President Obama is 100% correct to say that the proposed Koran burnings will cause a "bonanza" in recruitment for Al-Qaeda. If Bin Laden has any money left, he'll be sending it to Pastor Jones in grateful payment for helping the cause.

Tony and Harold - Two of a Kind?

In case you hadn't noticed, Tony Blair was signing copies of his memoirs, called "A Journey", in Dublin today. He seems capable of dividing opinion everywhere; there were angry protesters outside the book store, and admirers who wanted a signed copy of his book inside. Christopher Mayer, who was our ambassador in Washington, shortly after 9/11, has written critically of Blair in today's "Daily Mail". Mayer makes the point that: "...memoirs usually seek to skew history in the writer's favour and all are self-serving to some degree". He goes on to allege that Blair seems still to  want to be "...a player on the world stage", and writes some interesting material about Blair's support for George Bush in the launching of the so-called "War on Terror".
What I find interesting is the fact that we have seen self-seeking memoirs by an ex-Labour PM before. At university, I had the good fortune (!) to read Harold Wilson's account of his time in office. There are some interesting parallels between these two Labour politicians. Wilson, like Blair, was a controversial figure when PM.Both took office after a lengthy period of Conservative tenure in government. Like Blair, Wilson tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to negotiate peace between all parties in Northern Ireland. Like Blair, his term as PM was dogged by scandals about his cabinet colleagues (eg, John Stonehouse). Also, at that time the USA was engaged in a war- in Viet-Nam. Unlike Blair, however, Wilson steadfastly refused, publicly, to send British troops to fight in Viet-Nam, despite American pressure. Right-Wing American politicians never forgave Wilson for (as they saw it) failing to help an ally.
Or did he? There are numerous eyewitness accounts of British SAS soldiers being deployed against the Viet-Cong during the Viet-Nam War. One ex-gunner told me of how one Royal Artillery battery was seconded to the Australian Army in Viet-Nam, and no-one ever found out about it. All of which points to another similarity between these two Labour politicans, though Wilson seems to have been the more able politician - or was he just more cunning?

Does anyone hope to get Blair's book for Christmas?

Christmas is coming...already?

We've all heard the refrain: "Christmas comes early every year", but even I was surprised today, when I visited our local Marks & Spencer branch. To my amazement, they were selling Christmas cards (£5-00 for 20). And it's not even September! I don't know whether anyone else has noticed the early signs of Christmas anywhere, but if you have - isn't this just a little too soon? It might, of course, be a sign of desperation by the stores. They must be so desperate to maintain turnover, that they want to corner the Christmas market early. What next? Will pubs and hotels be taking Christmas party bookings in June? When will we start to hear Slade and Jona Lewey singing in Sainsbury's? The possibilities are boundless. Oh dear...

Osama and the Chimera

I hate to admit it, but I wasn't sure what a "chimera" was, until I looked it up online. I came across several meanings, two of which I thought of interest. Here is one: " a mythical fire-breathing monster with the head of a lion, body of a goat, and tail of a serpent". Right - and here's another:" a grotesque product of the imagination". For some reason, this made me think of the ever elusive Osama Bin Laden, who stands (somewhere- or is he bedridden?) as one of the greatest monsters of our time. The fact that no-one seems to have the remotest idea where he is, or even if he is alive or dead, makes me wonder if he is, perhaps, a product of a paranoid imagination, like bogeymen, trolls - or chimeras. But of course, I exaggerate. He must be alive - isn't that why Iraq and Afghanistan were invaded? Now, as we all know, US combat troops left Iraq this week, with their mission (hopefully) accomplished. British troops left some time ago. The war goes on in Afghanistan, of course, but there is hope for a withdrawal of NATO troops in the not-too-distant future. As things stand, they will probably leave without finding Bin Laden. Whether this is important or not, we are not told.
 Some things are clear, however. About 7 000 NATO troops (mostly American) have died in both theatres. For exact figures (so far) see here.  Civilian casualty figures are disputed, but run into six figures. Another grim statistic is that about 200 000 US personnel who have served in Iraq have developed various mental health problems. I have no similar figures for UK troops, but they must be high. Then, of course, there are the wounded and disabled. If Bin Laden set out to cause mass bloodshed, mayhem and damage to the West, then he has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. And (if alive), he may still escape capture.
If Bin Laden wears socks against the cold, he must laugh them off his feet every night.

George and the Dictator

It's very rare for me to read the "Times", but as I made a long train journey today, I bought a copy to pass the time. One article that caught my attention was by one Martin Fletcher, with the title: "Galloway meets Ahmadinejad - a shameful sight". As George Galloway ("GG") and the repressive regime in Iran have featured in my postings before, I read the article with interest. It seems that GG hosts a weekly programme called "The Real Deal" on Press TV. For those who have never heard of Press TV, it is an English language TV channel run by the regime in Iran. Others may be unaware of GG's interest in the media - he also hosts a radio programme on Talk Sport radio which I have only ever listened to for a few minutes. I became very bored with GG reading letters from admirers telling him how wonderful he was. I've not seen his interview with President Ahmadinejad (much as I'd like to), but Fletcher's account of it sounds typical of GG. He asked the Iranian dictator "patball questions", ie, easy questions to answer. He avoided asking any awkward questions (such as "Why did your security forces shoot down opposition demonstators last year?"), and prefaced his one question about Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani (see below) with the words: "Every so often an issue comes along which is seized on by enemies of Iran and magnified...". Martin Fletcher comments: "It was a performance more demeaning even than Mr Galloway's appearance on Celebrity Big Brother as a cat."I agree with that conclusion, but I wonder if GG has another agenda at work? He must be aware that there will be widespread criticism of this so-called "interview", as there has been criticism of his previous escapades. Personally, I think he revels in it - it always seems to me that he enjoys controversy, as it provides him with publicity and boosts his ego. Anyone who doubts that GG has an overweening ego should listen to his radio programme. Like Gloria Swanson, he knows that: "Good publicity is great, bad publicity is good - no publicity is awful!". And let's face it - without the heat and dust he stokes up, who would notice Mr Galloway anyway? No, like I have said about Jonathan Ross, I believe GG to be an operator, out to further his own ends. The difference between them lies in the fact that Ross is said to have cultivated Media Moguls; Mr Galloway prefers tyrants and dictators. Well, as the old saying goes: "A man is known by the company he keeps".

Cracking Down on Benefit Fraud - Again?

Mr Originality, aka David Cameron, is at it again. With all the appearance of having found something outrageous that has gone unnoticed before, he has declared his intention of taking decisive action against benefit cheats. In his own words to an audience in Manchester today, he boldly stated:
"There are some people who are claiming welfare who are not entitled to it and that is just wrong and that should stop. Both things, fraud and error, go together and I want to cut them both."
Er - am I wrong in finding this all a little familiar? I seem to recall that back in the 1970s, newpapers like the Sun were always banging on about "Costa del Dole" and "Social Security Scroungers". It has been a recurring theme at Tory Party conferences for decades, yet they never seem to be able to eradicate the problem, or even reduce it. So what has the PM come up with? Well, as it says on the news, he's going to use private credit rating firms, offering them a dividend from the money they save in tracking down the cheats. As one firm, Experian, estimates that it can save £1 billion, that should make for a handsome profit.
 What I wonder about is this: why hire private firms to deal with this problem when there already exists a full time, highly experienced force of Government employees to do the job? Or will they be joining the people they now investigate?

Death for Adultery?

I copied this from a US website called "Care2 Action Center":

"In May 2006, Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, a 43-year-old mother of two children, was sentenced to death by stoning in Iran for adultery. Her conviction was based on a forced confession that she later retracted.
She has received a temporary reprieve from stoning, but now Iran's judiciary has changed her charges and sentence to execution by hanging. The Iranian regime has changed the method of execution and executed prisoners in the past without informing their families and without public notice."
I am sure that everyone who reads this will be as horrified as I am. The fact that a human being can face death for what must be one of the most common lapses in judgement made by married men and women the world over is utterly outrageous.If everyone in the world who committed adultery was executed, tens of thousands of people would have to die. Even if this lady did commit adultery - and it is disputed - there appears to be a double standard at work in Iran. I am reliably informed that Iran's Revolutionary Guards regularly extract sexual favours from so-called "dissident" women (and others) in return for not arresting or harassing them. Let's hope that this poor woman can be helped by international pressure. She is by no means an isolated case of human rights abuse in Iran, which can be verified by visiting the Amnesty International website by clicking on the logo on this page, and then clicking on "Iran". 
And this is the lady concerned:

The New Diplomacy

I have to admit, our Prime Minister has an original way of doing things. Besides his way of managing the economy by cutting everything in sight, he is now giving object lessons in how he thinks we should conduct diplomacy with one of our principal partners in "The War on Terror". In spite of the fact that we need Pakistan's support against the Taliban, he has now offended the Pakistani Government by declaring that: "we cannot tolerate in any sense the idea that [Pakistan] is allowed to look both ways and is able, in any way, to promote the export of terror". Quite how Pakistan is exporting terror, when Pakistan itself is a victim of terror attacks, is not clear. The actual culprits in Pakistan are thought to be the ISI - Pakistan's Intelligence Service. This may be true, but where is Mr Cameron's evidence, and is being a "loudmouth" (David Miliband's phrase) the right way to deal with the matter?
Below, I show a new picture of the Prime Minister.

A Crime to be Old?

I don't want to sound like a columnist for the "Daily Mail", but feel that I must comment upon the light sentencing of the two teenage killers of the late  Ekram Haque, 67, who was attacked in August 2009 in Tooting as he left a mosque with his 3 year old grand-daughter. He died from his injuries a week later. His killers,
Leon Elcock, 16, and Hamza Lyzai, 15, pleaded guilty to manslaughter in June at the Old Bailey.
Elcock was detained for four-and-a half years and Lyzai for three-and-a-half. That's 8 years between them. Not much of an exchange for the death of an innocent man, a small child traumatised and a family devastated. Both Elcock and Lyzai will be back on the streets before their 21st birthdays. No wonder Mr Haque's son Arfan, 35, said outside court: "I thought justice has not been served today. I have been really let down." In that, I must agree - in fact, we have all been let down.
    But there is another, more sinister, angle to all this: Elcock, with another youth, had taken part in another attack on old people, and was on bail for this offence when he killed Mr Haque. It seems that a couple in their 70s, Jasumati and Jushbhai Patel, asked the boys not to sit on their wall, and were then punched and stamped upon in their own home.For youths like Elcock, then, the elderly are fair targets for violence. This is worrying, because, even among the more violent tearaways that I knew in my youth, thuggery against old people was regarded as contemptible and cowardly. Elcock and his ilk do not seem to subscribe to this belief. Perhaps they see being old as a greater crime? Photographs of individuals can tell a story - if not the whole story. The photographs of Elcock and Lyzai below suggest a story to me - one without a happy ending.

Working Class Victim or Just Plain Evil?

Like most people who were shocked at the gun spree of Raoul Moat, and like the Prime Minister, I am sickened at the setting up of a Facebook tribute (twice) to this thug, rapist and murderer. What I want to ask here is: why do people want to pay tribute to a man who has committed such heinous deeds? George Galloway, ex- MP, offered this explanation, quoted by the BBC:
He said: "I think it is a cry from the heart from poor, white, working class, unemployed people who are drifting on to dangerous shores.
"They hate the government, they hate the police, they hate society and feel left behind."
While I accept that many people who belong to what was once described by sociologists (do we still have any?) as "the unskilled working class", may feel abandoned, this does not explain (still less excuse) Moat's murder of an innocent man, blinding of a police officer, or Moat's well-documented abuse of women. Evil deeds are evil deeds, and to try to justify them in neo-Marxist terms is totally reprehensible.