Ahmad Jad - his Lebanese Gig

I see from press reports that my prospective signing for the alternative comedy circuit, Ahmad Jad (aka President Ahmadinejad of Iran) is on tour in the Middle East, having ignored my advice to come and do some real gigs in the comedy clubs over here. Still, I can't blame him - according to the reports that I have seen, Ahmad is going down a storm in Lebanon. According to the BBC:
"The highway that runs from the airport to the centre of Beirut has been decorated with Iranian flags and posters welcoming President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. So have the roads that go south, which he will take when he visits villages on the Israeli border." 
I don't think we could have competed with that, somehow.I did approach my local British Legion, and they turned me down flat. It seems they're rather annoyed that incontrovertible proof exists to show that Iran was behind attacks on British troops in Basra. Some people will believe anything - and I only asked for fifty quid.
   Then there was the local Labour Club - but they turned him down, saying he was a Holocaust denier. Well, that's New Labour for you - no wonder they lost the Election.
Still, no such unfair reactions have been shown by the Hezbollah, who live in South Lebanon.Not for them to be offended by the deaths of British troops - or anti-semitism. It doesn't pay to be narrow minded. Mind you, it's all down to money. As the BBC says:
"Mr Ahmadinejad will be a welcome guest in Shia areas of Lebanon. Iran paid for much of the reconstruction that was necessary after the war with Israel in 2006.
The money, starting out with a bundle of US dollars for everyone whose house had been destroyed, was channelled through Hezbollah." Typical BBC - they still get his name wrong, even after several emails from me! If it wasn't for Ahmad Jad, Hezbollah Double Glazing would never have gone into business. They are also developing a new branch of calisthenics called "The Hezbollah Arm Stretch". They seem to have based it on a similar exercise which was popular in Germany in the 1930s, but I wouldn't want to speculate.

Let's hope that his two day gig produces as many laughs as his memorable appearance at the UN - I'm sure we can depend upon it.