The Rhymes and Routes Christmas Message, 2022

 The Rhymes and Routes Christmas Message this year comes from the Rt Hon Jacob Rees-Mogg, MP for North-East Somerset.

It is with the utmost temerity with which I approach the burdensome task of writing for this obscure online organ. It affords me no pleasure, and I anticipate no profit whatsoever. The grandiosely titled Blogmeister is a Bolshevik hornswoggler and his occasional assistant, Rednev, is a communist whooperup. Neither went to Eton, to my certain knowledge. Nonetheless, following the heroic example of the greatest Prime Minister that Britain ever had, Boris Johnson, I shall advance, Animi Supra Omnes , into the Lion's den.

Well, what a year we have had! Roman times were revisited when the heroic Boris was betrayed and forced from office by treacherous ministers and the disgusting woke press. I tried to persuade him to send "Et tu, Brute!" cards to all those who betrayed him, but he refused. As he said to me: 

"Don't worry, Jakey boy - I'm off to make my fortune!"

And he is! He's just made £750, 000 from three orational discourses, so take that - Viles proditores! Like Shakespeare's Coriolanus, he shall be loved when he is lacked.

One of many scurrilous insulting remarks about me was that I am the Minister for the 19th century. O tempora! O mores!  How those cads must regret that insult! Now that people have dwindling financial means and are facing a cold winter with insufficient provisions, we are returning to the society that made our forefathers foremost among civilisations during the era of the British Empire. I look forward to officiating at the opening of the first new Workhouse in my constituency. As for all this whingeing about energy conservation, I have personally taken a lead in showing how it can be done.

Another Victorian measure that should be reintroduced is the Bedroom Tax. I have voted for it 16 times in Parliament from 2012 -2014 and will continue in the New Year to campaign for its reinstatement. I have campaigned in the national interest for welfare benefits to be capped or even reduced - in fact , I have voted for their reduction 52 times, in an effort to get idlers and hookem-sniveys back to work. In order to restore Victorian family values, I oppose all abortion and all that womens' rights codswallop and hope that we can return to large families on the 19th century model.

In sum, I am saddened at how the one person who could lead us to the Promised Land has been ejected from the post of prime minister, but his successors have been so dire that I anticipate his return in the future. I shall raise a glass of malmsey wine to that on Sunday. As for the Blogmeister, Rednev and those who read their politically correct nonsense, dimittuntur tibi!  You are all clearly vazey Remain voters. In spite of that, on behalf of all true Conservatives, I would like to say:

 Felicem natalem Christi !

Thankyou for taking the time to compose this Christmas Message, Mr Rees-Mogg. Thank you for being so candid with us in your festive greetings; at least you have been absolutely clear about your hopes for the future. I am sure that readers will draw their own conclusions about you - as have I...

No Excuse for Cultural Insensitivity

 

On the surface, it's possible to be dismissive of the furore that has erupted over the conversation between Ngozi Fulani (pictured above) and Lady Susan Hussey (pictured below) at a recent Buckingham Palace charity event. The basic facts of the incident are well known, but memories can be refreshed by clicking on THIS LINK. Reactions to this affair and its aftermath have divided opinion. One side supports Ms Fulani's anger at the affair, echoing the view of an eyewitness, quoted by the BBC:

"An eyewitness to the conversation, Mandu Reid, told BBC News that Lady Hussey's questions had been "offensive, racist and unwelcoming".

Buckingham Palace would seem to have agreed. As the BBC says: 

"In this instance, unacceptable and deeply regrettable comments have been made. We have reached out to Ngozi Fulani on this matter and are inviting her to discuss all elements of her experience in person if she wishes. In the meantime, the individual concerned would like to express her profound apologies for the hurt caused and has stepped aside from her honorary role with immediate effect".

You might think that the matter could rest there, but, of course, it hasn't. 

Petronella Wyatt, in The Spectator, immediately leapt to Lady Hussey's defence. She asserts:  

"I have known Susan Hussey since I was 18, and if she is a racist, then I am an ornamental fountain. Her sin, if there was one, was being old. Most pensioners are unfamiliar with the wonders of woke etiquette and its pitfalls."

While I am impressed at this display of upper-class solidarity, I take offence, as a pensioner, at Ms Wyatt's assumption that people over 60 are insensitive on racial and cultural matters. By "the wonders of woke etiquette", Wyatt means "anti-racist" and there are many of us over-60s who have campaigned against racism for decades, long before the term "woke" became a term of abuse beloved of the political Right.

Speaking of the Right, our old friend, Nigel Farage (NF), in his capacity of opinionated windbag for GB News, has felt the need to intervene. According to GB News, NF thinks this whole matter is a Leftist plot. NF has a TV programme on GB News called "Farage at Large", on which ("live from Llandudno!") he has expounded his latest conspiracy theory (he has a number of such theories): 

“I thought immediately, something doesn’t feel right here. The GB News presenter says the charity owner “clearly had a tape recorder”, which suggests she “planned this right from the very start. She’s an anti-Royal, anti-British Marxist. It’s quite wrong what has happened in the last 24 hours”, he said.

Quite how Ms Fulani would have known what Lady Hussey was going to say in advance of the event is beyond me, but NF has never been one to get his facts right. Nor is it Marxist to be sensitive on matters of race and origin.

Let's look again at what happened during the conversation as recorded. Here goes from the beginning:

Lady SH: Where are you from?


Me: Sistah Space.


SH: No, where do you come from?


Me: We're based in Hackney.


SH: No, what part of Africa are you from?


Me: I don't know, they didn't leave any records.


SH: Well, you must know where you're from, I spent time in France. Where are you from?


Me: Here, the UK.


SH: No, but what nationality are you?


Me: I am born here and am British.

Now, I am married to a Filipina and, when visiting the Philippines, have been asked by Filipinos a number of times where I come from. I find it entertaining! These are examples of questions I have faced:

"Excuse me, sir. Are you German?"

"Excuse me, are you an Australian?"

"Is that a British accent?"

As can be seen, Filipinos are more polite than Lady Hussey, but their queries stop when I explain that I am British and from the North of England, hence the accent. As we know, Lady Hussey did not cease her queries at that point, but persisted in asking where Ms Fulani came from. Her Ladyship even touched Ms Fulani's hair. I would have objected to such an intrusive interrogation and, as a pensioner, I find Petronella Wyatt's excuse unacceptable. I can clearly see that, for a black person, Lady H's questioning would be downright hurtful.

If Lady Hussey has suffered by having to stand down from Royal service, Ngozi Fulani has been the target of abuse from people who share the views of NF and Petronella Wyatt. As The Guardian says:

In a statement issued on Monday, Fulani said: “The last week has been an extremely difficult time for us all at Sistah Space. My team, family and I have been put under immense pressure and received some horrific abuse via social media. Yet throughout this time I have been heartened by the huge amount of support we have received.
I want to thank everyone for that, and it has shown me that love will always triumph over hate.”

Those are wise and gracious words, and would like to close with these, hopefully positive, words of my own. I would like to see Lady Hussey get her royal post back, but only after completing a Racial Awareness Training (RAT) course. It's never too late to learn.

Petronella Wyatt and an ornamental fountain - can you tell which is which?